Sometimes it’s tough to get back into writing, but an easy subject to write about is a dream (or a nightmare). I was going to write about the dream through the point of view of my mustache. But I felt like that would have made things a bit confusing: is the mustache going to be a separate entity? Or is it part of the body? How does it refer to the body as a whole. Is this a dream? Also, some would have found it weird, “is the mustache talking to himself or describing the dream to another mustache. I don’t get it” they would say. So instead, I present to you the dream through the lens of my penis.

Yep, pretty dark in here like usual. Man, peeing off that cliff was pretty cool earlier today, hope I get to do that again. Alright, I have one job during this entire arranged marriage meeting with the girl and her family, and that is to NOT stand erect. And I will do everything in my power to do the opposite so this entire meeting is awkward as f*ck for everyone.